Thursday, May 28, 2020

What we used our Stimulus Check for and our May 2020 Debt total payoff

We got our 2,400 on May 6, 2020. We went to the bank and took it all out and went to our credit union to deposit it. We decided to pay off my medical debt and his tuition bill. I also got a couple books because you always need books.

The first debt we paid was my three debts for Phelps County hospital. The first two were to the medical group in the total of $92.75 and $63.64. The third one was for the emergency room visit for a total of $250.18. The reason this ER visit was so heavily discounted was because the hospital gave me a huge discount.

The second debt we paid was to my medical debt in Texas County, Missouri for another emergency room visit because the Rolla hospital is incompetent. Maybe in another blog post I will go into that. That total came to be $824.50 for that emergency room visit.

The third debt we paid was to his tuition bill. That totaled $953.21. The reason we had this debt is that he tried to go back to school to complete it, but he chose not to and we got a bill in the mail for it. Glad we got this debt out of our hair.

The fourth debt we paid was only a payment but it was to his student loans in the amount of $204. So the grand total of the first two and a half weeks in May is $2,388.28.

On May 15 we paid Discover Student Loans $200 so that brings the total to $2,588.28 paid in debt.

The final total for May Payoff is $2,588.28.

Let's go for June Pay off! I am so excited to be paying off more and more debt per month.

Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Book Review on The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires

I got the book suggestion from Genevieve Padalecki on her Instagram @nowandgen. I was a little hesitant because I thought it was just another book about vampires. I am so glad I joined in on her book club because I devoured that book with in 4-5 days.

The book synopsis is as follows:

 In every book we read, no one ever thought anything bad was happening until it was too late. Patricia Campbell's life has never felt smaller. Her husband is a workaholic, her teenage kids have their own lives, her senile mother-in-law needs constant care, and she's always a step behind on her endless to-do list. The only thing keeping her sane is her book club, a close-knit group of Charleston women united by their love of true crime. At these meetings they're as likely to talk about the Manson family as they are about their own families.

One evening after book club, Patricia is viciously attacked by an elderly neighbor, bringing the neighbor's handsome nephew, James Harris, into her life. James is a well traveled and well read, and he makes Patricia feel things she hasn't felt in years. But when children on the other side of town go missing, their deaths written off by local police, Patricia has reason to believe James Harris is more of a Bundy than a Brad Pitt. The real problem? James is a monster of a different kind-and Patricia has already invited him in.

Little by little, James will insinuate himself in Patricia's life and try to take everything she took for granted-including the book club-but she won't surrender without a fight in this blood-soaked tale of neighborly kindness gone wrong.

Let's get into the book review. I think it was amazingly written. I would recommend this book to anyone who like supernatural beings like vampires, werewolves, and the like. I really truly loved this book. It begins with them being normal stay at home wives and moms, then they cross paths with this man and then their lives change. Whether it is for the best or not you must decide that for yourself.

The reason I enjoyed this book so much is because I am apart of a couple of book clubs myself. One with a group of women, the now and gen book club, and then another with a good friend of mine. I will be writing a book review on the books I absolutely love and also ones that are fiction. I prefer fiction massively due to how the author writes. And I love books such as this book, the Hunger Games, and the Inheritance series.

As I said this book is good for any one that loves to read fiction. I am pretty sure that in a few months I will go back and read it again and it will be like reading it all over again. And that is because it is such a big book when you re read it you will find something different in it.

Friday, May 22, 2020

My Favorite TV Shows and Movies to Watch Over and Over

I have a ton of favorite tv shows and I have a lot of movies I love to watch over and over and never get bored. I will only do ten of each because I can list way more.

These are in no particular order. I love each one almost the same though I love SVU and Supernatural more that say Once Upon a Time. But I can watch any of these on repeat.

TV Shows:
1. Supernatural
3.  Criminal Minds
4. Sleepy Hollow
5. Bones
6. Star Gate SG-1
7. Star Gate Atlantis
8. Star Gate Universe
9. Once Upon a Time
10. Law and Order SVU.

I have an honorable mention that I have just started watching because it just started.
11. Council of Dads. I love this show because they are inclusive and they make sure to let it be known. One of the main characters is a transgender character ftm. He is amazing and I love that his family has accepted him from the beginning. I know that I will accept my children for the way they are. Thank you Council of Dads for becoming my favorite show of 2020.

As you can see most of these are Apocalyptic in nature or Serial Killers, or Cop Shows.

1. Back to the Future
2. Back to the Future 2
3. Back to the Future 3
5. 2012
6. The Core
7. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas (the saddest movie on this list)
8. Colonia
9. Deep Impact
10. The Matrix (all three of them are amazing.)

And again you see these are Apocalyptic or movies that are just sad. I love watching about the Apocalypse but not really hearing about the End of the World. 

What are your tv shows that you can watch on repeat? Movies? Just some that you can watch over and over and over and them never get old? Yes I am a huge Star Wars nerd as well, but I had to choose ten movies and Star Wars has 11 movies out. 

Tuesday, May 19, 2020

What's on my Night Stand 5-20

I am still over here wondering if this is the new normal. Trying to figure out if we will ever be able to hug our friends again, or if we will be able to go into a crowded store without having to wait. I am still social distancing, honestly I was social distancing from people I didn't know before it was popular. The six items I have been obsessing over focuses on my mental and physical well being. I am trying to keep it together everyday.

What about you? Is your state open? Are you venturing out? Are you staying at home like we are? Let me know what is on your nightstand, and keep scrolling for mine!

 Entertainment Weekly
 I got this to read because they have amazing articles. I try to distract myself from the news, and reality because of everything that is going on. Trying to make sure my mental health doesn't shrivel up because of everything going on. I also enjoy being able to turn pages. Once I am able to get my national geographic magazine that will be on my nightstand as well.

I started this book because of Genevieve Padalecki and her wanting to start a Now and Gen book club. I read 5 chapters in one sitting because it is so addicting. I have a lot more to read but I am so ready to read it.

Another book club that I am in, if I get into another one I will be in way too many two is just fine. I am loving this book too. I can only read a small amount at a time because it is not fiction but it is an amazing book. I am loving this book to get back to God since I left the Mormon Church, and this has really helped me.

My Journal
I bought this journal in 2014 when my husband and I got married. I keep not writing in the journal, but I need to keep writing in it because I need the memories, just like this blog gives me. I also always keep a few pencils nearby in case I need to write extra. 

Always need to keep hydrated. I am a diabetic so I have to drink tons of water. But I would anyway because water is really good for you. Yes I use water bottles but I actually recycle them. I am trying to find a good reusable water bottle but no luck on any I have tried. 

Saturday, May 16, 2020

My Husband turns 29

My husband of almost 6 years is 29 tomorrow. He is a hard working man and he just got a second job to get us out of debt faster. I am gonna use this blog post to brag on him.

I was 18 when we met and married. And in these six years we have ups and downs, we have our heartbreaks and we have moments when our hearts soar. In these six years we have gotten pregnant with twins, found out they were boys, and then lost them, then we waited and waited and got asked and asked when we were going to have kids, we got pregnant 4 years later with a single and I automatically knew what I was going to have and that was a girl, and I miscarried her on February 13, 2019 the day after my birthday, and now we are waiting to have kids.

Another thing that has happened is we have left the Mormon Church. And year 5.5 to 6.5 has been the best year of our life. The year when he went from 27 to 28 and then this year 28 to 29 has been the best year of our life.

He went from job to job trying to find the right fit. Had 6 jobs in 1.5 years. But he finally found his place at the job he works now. And then we took a look at our finances and we decided since I cannot work, that will be discussed in another blog coming up, that he would look for a second job that will work with his current schedule. He finally found a second job that will work around his crazy hectic first job.

For his birthday we will be going to the drive in movie theater near where we live. Twister is playing. I love that movie and will watch it over and over. We already went out to our favorite buffet and steakhouse. And he is taking a week off to use vacation days and also take some time with his parents.

But I am seriously so grateful for him. I will never give him up and I will never ever let someone disrespect him. I am a feminist but I also believe that my husband has a more higher authority than I do to make decisions. We are equals and he knows that and I have a big mouth and never shut up, you can ask him. But I also believe in God's hierarchy with God, then Jesus, then the husband, the wife, and then the children.

Happy 29th birthday Babe, sorry we are still mostly stuck in the house! I love you and love spending my life with you!

Friday, May 15, 2020

What Leaving the Mormon Church has Taught Me

These are my beliefs, I am not pushing them onto you. And this is my life's story in the LDS church. Don't like it, don't read. You have had a fair warning.

When I was five years old my mom and I got visited by the LDS missionaries. When I was six my mom was baptized and I was given a "baby blessing" which ultimately gave me a membership record, which means that I was a member of the church from 6 on.

Fast forward to May 2, 2004 and I was baptized into the LDS church, and I went outside in my $30 WHITE dress and played in the mud. Man was my mom mad. But things were just starting when I joined the church, as I have learned over the last 16 years. I wasn't pressured by my mom to join, she told me that I was allowed to choose not to, but I was pressured by every other person in the branch we were in and the stake we lived in. The pressure is very real in the LDS church.

Fast forward to when I was 11, we had moved from Devil's Lake to West Fargo at this point and it was 2008. I was called into the Bishop's office, by the second counselor on the stake presidency to start in Young Women's (ages 12-18) and for a Youth Temple Recommend interview. During this meeting he sexually abused me by caressing my chest (I went from nada to a C cup at 6 years old and then by the time I was 11 I was at least a DD) while asking me if I had ever masturbated. I was terrified to tell anyone, even my mom who said I could tell her anything and she would believe me, because even then I knew that they had expensive attorneys to get them off, just like the Catholic church.

Before summer of 2008 we we're headed to the next stop on our destination, Eden, Idaho, and 2008 was when I participated in my first Trek. I loved the Trek, that hike was amazing. Learning to cook more was amazing. Heck even wearing a prairie dress was amazing. I loved everything about that four day adventure.

As I said before we lived in Idaho for 4 years. In 2010 we went on a Book of Mormon trek and we hiked 5 and a half miles down hill. My calves were on fire for at least a month. If you don't know what the Book of Mormon is all you have to do is a google search. I didn't enjoy that trek as much as I did the first one. 2010 was also the year I started seminary, yes yet another way to indoctrinate the youth of the church, and I mostly daydreamed. I learned some stuff but the stuff that they really wanted us to learn, I practically refused.

My years of Seminary taught me one thing, I really and truly never believed as most of the others did. Maybe it was because I grew up on the Bible like most Christians are and they grew up learning that the Book of Mormon superseded the Bible because the Bible isn't "translated correctly" and yet how many times has the Book of Mormon been changed? I will answer that, a bunch. At 6 years old I could just pick up anywhere in the Bible and be able to read. I still have hard times getting through the Book of Mormon. I procrastinate through it.

Between 2010 and 2014 I moved 5 times before I got my three year certificate for "graduating" seminary. Before I got my certificate I also met my husband. People keep asking me if I would have married him at 18 without the LDS church's influence and I can honestly answer yes I would have. I was following the Bible where it said non married couples should not live together. So it wasn't really the LDS church that was the one that made me not do it.

In September of 2014 we decided to get civilly married because we wanted to begin our lives together. We only dated for a month and a half before he proposed and then we were together 6 months and a week about before we got married. It's more common in the LDS church but it worked for us. We decided to get civilly married because we didn't want to get married in the LDS temple at first. We were waking up to lies that we were told when we were growing up.

In 2018 I was fully checked out of the church save it be the garments. And yes I am inserting a photo of them because guess what it is on google. Yes they are very uncomfortable, at least they were for me, and super non flattering. I got so many heat rashes with them on. People kept telling me to try different fabrics, just trust in God to make your rash to go away, or the worst advise was to lose weight and you might be able to actually not get them.

In 2019 we stopped going to the church period. Never to set foot into a church building on Sunday again. We went one time more on a Saturday for Chili. In the Word of Wisdom it says eat meat sparingly. What's the main ingredient in Chili 9/10 times? Oh yeah meat. The flesh 'of the beasts and of the fowls of the air "eat sparingly".' There is the evidence of eating meat sparingly for the LDS church. They really do not practice what they preach. We honestly went because most of our social circle is there. I've gained a new one but it isn't the same.

Since leaving the church I have become more of a outspoken feminist. I dress how I want and speak how I think I need to speak. Feminism to me is fighting for the equal rights of everyone. The definition of Feminism according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary is: " 1. The theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes 2. Organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests." And for me I want to protect the rights of every person on this earth whether they be man, woman, or non binary. You are valued, you are loved, and I am always here for you!

I will fight for everyone to have equal rights, you are my sisters, brothers, siblings, and above all else my friends. We share this Earth. We did not inherit it from our parents we borrow it from the children of the world. I am a mama of Angel babies and of babies that aren't my own but I know that one day soon I will have babies of my own. Being a mama of Angel babies I know that I am on a borrowed Earth. So I am trying to live the best life I can and use as many Earth friendly items as I can. We recycle and it is made possible by our city, and I am so glad we do.

People in the church say, mainly the Prophet (Nelson and a few before him) and the Apostle's, say that people in the church are happy and nobody that leaves the church or is outside the church can be happy. I will tell you one thing the years following my sexual abuse I was miserable. I put on a happy face and I thought I was happy. Guess what, I know true happiness now. I am able to accept people for who they are gay, straight, transgender, non binary. Be you and I will always be here. If any of my children are in the LGBTQ+ I will accept them no matter what. I was taught that it is a sin, guess what I have done many sins. And if God didn't love them, he wouldn't have made them the way they are. I am accepting because God commands it, all Gods do for whatever you believe.

Before, while I was in the Church.
When I thought I was happy but I really wasn't. We had just gotten sealed and we both didn't feel how we we're supposed to feel. Apparently you are supposed to feel different being sealed than just being "married". Truth is, we didn't and a ton of people didn't like that answer.

After, being out of the church for over a YEAR

How I feel now is true happiness. This is what I should have been feeling all along. I know some Christians don't agree on the LGBTQ+ but that's what they believe. I however cannot and will not feel that way. I have been adopted as an older sister by someone that is of the LGBTQ+ community and I will never turn them away! I will always treat them right.

I think this is the longest blog post to date, I also think it's my most painful as well. But that is okay, it is a story that needed to be told. I have learned a lot being out of the church and I am grateful I am. In April 2020 general conference talk by Dieter F Uchtdorf he said the following, "Even those who, like a headstrong, unruly child, become angry with God and His Church, pack their bags, and storm out the door proclaiming they;re running away and never coming back." Here is the talk that I am talking about. It's funny because the Ex-Mormon Christians I know all say, "We left A church not God and we definitely are not angry with him" and I tend to agree. I left A church, I have not and will not leave God.

Thank you for reading this! It was very hard to write and very exposing.

Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Gardening in an Apartment

A couple friends and I started a garden. This is my first time gardening in a very long time so we decided to start small this year and next year go bigger. Especially since I can put a couple extra buckets outside of my window next year.

This year we started out small, well small for us, with tomatoes (a few different kinds), peppers, cucumbers, lettuce, onions, strawberries, and various herbs: cilantro, basil, oregano, lemon balm, and mint. Yes it is a ton of stuff but we have both gardened previously so it seemed like the right amount of plants.

I love getting my hands dirty as long as my nails aren't long, which means I need to cut them because getting your hands dirty is good. Nature is my element so gardening is just second nature to me. I never really worry about the plants because I know God will take care of them, and that's how I grew up. Even though we were never in the same state every year, we moved every 3-6 years, we almost always had a garden. My mom was a single mom and was never able to go water the garden everyday, work, cook from scratch (Yes I cook from scratch 90% of the time and I learned that from my mom and my mother in law), and take care of me. We weeded when we could, normally once a week because of her busy schedule.

Coming back to our garden, we chose buckets because that is what the landlord is letting us use. We are lucky they are letting us garden. I cannot wait until we own our own home and nobody can tell us that we can't plant. But I am getting ahead of myself. But the buckets have half manure mixture and half soil in them. We got two of most every plant we have so more grows. I would rather have excess than have too little.

My love for gardening started when I was about 4 or 5, it could have been younger but my memory goes back to that point. My mom always hands on with me, and would let me just get my hands dirty. Because dirt isn't bad for you, it is actually really good for you, even the research proves it. I had such a hands on mom for her being a single mom most of my life, and I am glad she instilled gardening in me from a very young age and I will do the same with my children.

They aren't the best quality but I am definitely not a professional and these were taken on my phone and it is not an iPhone 11 max pro or whatever they are called. I'm in love with how the garden is progressing, and cannot wait until we can reap what we sowed and have fresh garden vegetables.

Do you have a garden? Are you in an apartment or in a house? What did you plant? Answer down in the comments.